Wild Card

And When I’m Home…

“And when I’m home/ I think I’ll go eat cereal/ And stare out the window” – Relient K

Jefferson Aero Plane has always been my favorite Relient K song. Although, I realized tonight as I read through the lyrics that I didn’t really know the words at all. It’s one of Relient K’s more mellow tunes and I guess I’ve always connected with the mood of the song.  Matt Theissan, the lead singer, sounds rather wistful, maybe even remorseful. He speaks fondly of the good times and is rather cavalier about the bad ones. He’s waiting for things to get better; waiting for himself to be better, stronger, less lonesome. Regardless of the highs and lows, the “show must go on”. It is a sentiment that has resonated with me often over the years. You win some, you lose some, don’t let it get you down. But what I truly appreciate is that the song does more than simply carry on– it truly bounces back at the end. It picks up the beat, bringing with it a powerful sense of optimism and courage.

I had a bit of a rocky end to the school year. Finals made everyone flustered and I got caught up in the anxiety and rush of it all. Then having to say my good-byes and turn around and coming home… It just didn’t sit well. I was anxious about my time home alone. I’ve kept myself busy the last few days so as not to think about anything too closely. I kept propelling myself forward without a real sense of joy. But tonight, sitting at my kitchen table, surrounded by big arched windows and listening to Relient K, I stopped for a minute and let it all catch up to me. And it didn’t “hit” me. My thoughts didn’t pummel me with anxiety or burden me with my past mistakes. Instead, I took a breath… in total and complete peace. I am ready to truly enjoy my life again, rather than just move through it. I don’t need to wait for Greece to come and sweep me off my feet, I can love every moment right now.

“…Oh yes, I’ll go
And hope the new me shows so everybody knows
That I’ve found myself able to fly away
Without magic feathers
Or jefferson aero planes
I’ve got with me all that I need “

Thank you, Matt Theissan, for a little perspective on life.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s